There is a new crime show on FOX called Lie to Me. The "deception experts" on the show use shifting body language, facial expressions and micro-expressions as the basis to determine if someone is lying or not. Watching the show, I was fascinated with the expert's observations. We've all heard the expression "your body speaks louder than your words," and this show is proving it's true.
Just like the show's experts, we all pick up on subtle nonverbal clues. Your body language can help or hinder how well you connect with others in business. Here are some tips to use and some things to avoid, so when "your body talks" people will listen.
Funny Faces - Facial muscles are the hardest to control. Think about how we communicate with our faces: a frown, a wink, a scowl, raised eyebrows and even a smile convey very strong messages. Be cognizant of the faces you make.
Awful Handshakes - We all know what it feels like to get a lousy handshake: the fingers only, the double clasp or the bone-crusher handshake, to name a few. Your handshake will convey a lot about you. Are you the first to extend your hand when meeting someone? Give a firm handshake and shake "web to web" (so that the web between your thumb and index finger meets the other person's web).
Roving Eyes - Have you ever been at a networking event and noticed that the person you are speaking with is looking around for someone else to talk to? Or have you tried to have a conversation with someone who is texting? The best compliment you can pay someone is to give that person your undivided attention. Maintain consistent eye contact during a conversation. At work, when someone enters your office, turn away from the computer and give that co-worker a few minutes of your time.
Close Talkers - You may know someone who stands too close during a conversation. You back up and the talker comes forward. The biggest mistake you can make is misjudging how much space another person needs. In the U.S. the accepted distance is an arm's length for business interactions.
Kissy Kissy - Please don't open up your arms for a hug and a kiss when you are greeting a business colleague, a current client or a former co-worker. Most people are offended by it. Save the kisses for family and good friends.
Posture Peculiarities - What does your posture say about you when you enter a room? People will notice if you convey confidence or not. When you first meet someone, move your upper body forward as you start to shake hands. It sends the signal that you are interested in meeting this individual. In a business meeting, don't slouch in your chair. You will be viewed as someone who is not a team player. Instead, lean forward, nod and make good eye contact with those presenting.
Distracting Gestures - Nervous mannerisms diminish your professional presence. Sighing, fiddling with your hair, clicking a pen, jingling change in your pockets, fidgeting, tapping your fingers and biting your nails are distracting at work. Keep your nervous gestures to a minimum.
You don't have to be a criminal investigator to observe body language; we do it every day���even on a subconscious level. Successful business people have learned to use their body language as an asset. You can too!
©2009 Professional Image Management
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