With the holidays in full swing, lots of people are throwing cocktail fetes and dinner parties. These can be wonderful events to attend, but it's important to do your part by practicing good guest etiquette. Read on for handy tips on how to be the type of person who gets invited back!
RSVP promptly. As a host, there's nothing more frustrating than not knowing who is actually attending your soiree. Even if you can't make an event, it is best to acknowledge the invitation and let the organizer know as soon as possible. Thank them for the invite and make your apologies. If you do plan to attend, give your host as much notice as possible, and let them know if you will be bringing a guest (provided that is an option-most dinner parties are tailored to a specific and limited number of people). If something unforeseeable comes up and you or your guest aren't able to come after all, let the host know right away.
Arrive on time. Unlike some parties where people filter in and out throughout the evening, dinner parties typically have a set schedule. No doubt your host has timed their meal precisely according to the time they listed on your invite, so a late arrival can be disruptive.
But don't show up too early. Hosts are usually running around like a headless chicken getting preparations in order. An early guest can cause extra stress because they'll be worried about entertaining you when they really need to stir the sauce, tidy the den or pull the hot rollers out of their hair. If you find you're early, drive around for a few minutes and aim to arrive at the requested time.
Bring a gift. Show your appreciation for your hosts by bringing a bottle of wine, a box of nice chocolates, some gourmet coffee beans or a beautiful plant. You should also ask your host if you can bring anything-say, a dessert-for the meal.
Don't expect the hostess to serve the wine you brought that evening. Chances are your hosts have carefully selected wines to complement the meal. Just because they want to wait to crack open your bottle doesn't mean they don't appreciate the gesture.
Alert the hosts ahead of time of any special dietary needs. If you can't have wheat products, are a vegetarian, lactose intolerant, allergy-prone or on a special diet for health reasons, let your host know as soon as possible. Don't sound demanding. Simply say, "I hope it's not any trouble but I've had to cut out dairy lately." That way they can plan ahead and won't be offended or embarrassed if you can't eat something. That said, don't expect your hosts to build their entire meal around what you can and cannot eat. If you're a picky eater, take a small amount of everything and do your best to fill up on the items you do enjoy.
Be a good conversationalist. Talk to everyone and don't engage in loud arguments or hostile discussions with other guests. Steer clear of controversial topics like politics or religion. Ask the other guests how they know the host and go from there.
Offer to help. When you arrive, ask if you can help out in the kitchen-does the table need setting, the wine need pouring, etc. After the meal you should offer to help with the dishes. Even if your offer is denied, it will be appreciated
Don't get drunk. When you're sharing a bottle of wine with a group of people it's easy to lose track of just how much alcohol you've consumed. If you're driving, you should avoid drinking. But even if you're not, it's important to know your limits. You'd hate to make people uncomfortable, or act inappropriately... not to mention have a terrible hangover.
Send a handwritten thank you note. The day after the dinner party, pick up a pretty card and write a note thanking the host for a wonderful evening. You may also want to offer to host the next get-together!
Remember these 10 tips the next time you are invited to a dinner party. When you do, you will be a guest who always gets invited back.
©2009 Professional Image Management
Juanita Ecker, president of Professional Image Management, is a corporate image and business etiquette consultant. She can be reached by phone at (518) 279-9388 or online at www.professionalimagemanagement.com.